You’re making me nervous.
You clicked on this link expecting to learn something or to perhaps be entertained. I could boldly hope that you may even retweet or bookmark this article. But a lot of that depends on my lead. Here’s hoping it worked.
The lead for an article can stop a person in his tracks—both the writer who is terrified to start writing the article and the reader who becomes captivated by a great lead. You should aim to write captivating story leads every day. Otherwise, what’s the point? Without a seductive lead, your reader has clicked or flipped to a different page or tossed aside the magazine entirely.
Here are a few dos and don’ts the next time you craft a story lead:
Show, Don’t Tell.
“Neal Wu’s last chance for international glory, and maybe America’s, too, begins with a sound like a hippo crunching through a field of dry leaves—the sound of 315 computer prodigies at 315 workstations ripping into 315 gray envelopes in unison. “You have five hours,” a voice booms across the packed gymnasium. ‘Good luck.’”
This Wired article lead—recommended by my colleague Chris Blose—grabs the reader as he imagines what hippos crunching over dry leaves sound like.
But writer Jason Fagone does something equally important: he delivers. He doesn’t just write a strong lead, full of promise, and then merge into mediocre copy. He corrals the reader’s attention throughout with a gift for showing, not telling.
“Show, don’t tell” has almost become a cliché to those who studied journalism. But that’s because it’s so true. This starts in the research and interview process, when you must take detailed notes of your surroundings and your observances.
Don’t just say, “The kids played on the playground.” Say, “Three little boys, all about 5 or 6, chased each other furiously around the swing set, shouting battle cries, as a first-grader named Erica continued to swing.”
Surprise!
“Straddling the top of the world, one foot in Tibet and the other in Nepal, I cleared the ice from my oxygen mask, hunched a shoulder against the wind, and stared absently at the vast sweep of earth below. I understood on some dim, detached level that it was a spectacular sight. I’d been fantasizing about this moment, and the release of emotion that would accompany it, for many months. But now that I was finally here, standing on the summit of Mount Everest, I just couldn’t summon the energy to care.”
This is Jon Krakauer’s engrossing lead to his legendary Outside article “Into Thin Air.” Often when we read, our mind thinks it knows where the story is going. Throw in an unexpected twist, though, and the reader pauses, reconsiders his preconceived notions and is drawn to read more.
“Sara Thomas Monopoli was pregnant with her first child when her doctors learned that she was going to die.”
A sad and shocking start, but Atul Gawande’s “Letting Go” story lead in The New Yorker demands attention. The twist works because when we think of pregnancy, most people think of happy families and adorable babies, not death.
Arouse Curiosity
“Two nights before her mastectomy, D.J. Schneider Jensen slipped into a hot-pink T-shirt that proclaimed “Shh, they don’t know yet,” and drove a couple of miles through suburban Baltimore to her dear friend Brenda Gilbert Schuman’s home. There, in a living room festooned with bras and pink balloons, Jensen nibbled on a breast-shaped red velvet cake, modeled a tiara crafted from a bra and reveled in the love of 35 friends and family members.”
Make your readers curious— as in this Jewish Woman feature lead. Isn’t that what we want all our stories to achieve? If readers aren’t curious, why would they continue to read the story? Be alert to what interests you as you conduct interviews and research; that’s probably what will interest your readers, too.
And now, for a few “don’ts,” leads that should make any invested reader cringe:
Don’t start with the dictionary lead: “Loyalty is defined as …” This is a cop-out that always causes me to think the writer had no idea where the story was going, therefore didn’t know how to begin.
Don’t rely too heavily on quotations: “Mark Twain once said …” It rarely works (unless, of course, you’re as skilled as Mark Twain).
Don’t start with the date and place: “On Wednesday, March 23, in Metropolis …”
Don’t bury the lead. A clever example that has stuck with me since journalism school, even if it probably (hopefully) wasn’t real:
The city council met Monday night at its monthly board meeting. … Five paragraphs later, after chronologically listing the mundane business of the city, the reporter announces:
After the final vote, a man in the audience stood up and shot the mayor.
Writing is—and should be—difficult. Don’t settle for the same patterns, language, formats and flow you’ve been using for years. Play with words and format. Don’t accept the ordinary.
What are your tips for writing your best leads?
[image: Dawn Huczek]
{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }
I struggle with leads sometimes. No great suggestions from me there. As you say, writing is hard – but I’ve found myself spending increasing amounts of time (too much, I believe) writing single posts because I’m getting bogged down with the editorial process. I’m considering the use of outlines to help shape my thoughts and direction, but can’t say the thought excites me too much.
I appreciate your comments about drawing a reader in with descriptive and colorful text. Thanks for the post, it nudged my gray matter this morning
@Heather, glad to help nudge that gray matter.
I use outlines sometimes. Just think of outlines as organizing your thoughts, don’t worry about using Roman numerals and all that we learned in high school English class. Just think of the main points you want to get across, type those out and then organize your supporting material under those headings. It’s amazing how just those simple steps can help organize your thoughts better than trying to do it all in your head. Good luck!
My tip: Know your audience. A wonderfully detailed, narrative lead might be great for a long-form feature in, say, Esquire or Harper’s. Poetry is a joy to read. But who are you writing for? If it’s a custom magazine for engineers, for example, something short and to the point might be better. Try to envision how your readers, depending on who they are, consume and share information and write to their tastes, not yours. Your editor will love you for this.
Hmm. I think Jason needs to just subscribe to your blog. He buries the lead all the time.
That Wired lead was one of my favorites, and as you said, was the beginning of a compelling, educational and seriously entertaining story.
Thanks for reminding us of these classic tips…
@Corey, another great tip! Thanks.
@Mei, glad you could share this with Jason, and I love that you know that your husband buries the lead in his writing.
@MC, agreed. My co-worker showed me that lead, and I gobbled up the entire article even though (or maybe because of) it was on a topic I’d never heard of and knew nothing about.
B2B content is notorious for burying leads under dry “look how smart I am” set ups. Drives me nuts!
Great post, thanks.
i find myself highly critical of myself when writing a Lead. I consider it a key factor in attracting readers to my article. For me my approach is being poetic in my delivery and at the same time staying in line with the key elements of the story.
I’m not a fan of question leads or “’tis the season” leads. I do like present tense leads that place me right in the moment. I agree w commenter who said “know your audience”.
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